Christmas is a barrel of laughs. And whilst that statement might not be quite as factual as the tone with which it was written, you’ve got to admit that before the distant relatives have started bickering and before The Queen saunters onto our telly screens and before everybody’s blood alcohol level becomes so disproportionate that the Christmas Tree suddenly appears a very real, sizeable fire hazard, the present giving, and the food eating and a carton-full of Christmas cheer is no bad thing! Still, we can all use a little MORE cheer, no matter what time of year it is, and as such we’ve compiled a host of Christmas gift ideas that’ll have you all chortling your way through the day; right through Wallace and Gromit, right through James Bond, it might even keep you chuckling through Die Hard. So put your feet up, put the kettle on, and have a browse through these Ho-Ho-Ho-larious potential presents! The pun never ends.
First up then, why not try some bad breath spray? Whilst this may seem more insulting than funny; the packaging is on hand to deliver the laughs. Emblazoned with the catchy headline ‘Instantly remember the names of everyone you’ve ever slept with’, this peppermint spray claims to spruce up the memory banks to a truly abnormal standard, allowing you to recall past partners with the sure-tongued, quick-fire comeback-primed vocal prowess you’d expect of Oscar Wilde in a quiet debate over ketchup or mayonnaise. Whilst it doesn’t do this, it’s sure fun to pretend, isn’t it?
Better yet, there’re loads of similar novelties available – why not grab the “Accept the Fact You’re Aging Breath Spray”, or the desirable ‘Instant Irish Accent Mouth Freshener’?
Those of you out there that have used a Blackberry, will, undoubtedly, at some point or another have become overwhelmed with the desire to somehow cause it physical pain. Hang the consequences! Nothing is worth trying to type on this fatuously malodorous garbage! You might well have said. Luckily, there’s now a funny Christmas gift to allow you to do just that, financial ramifications excluded! When you’re next outraged, calmly place the Blackberry on the floor and reach for the StressBerry! It looks just like your favourite handheld communicative device, except that it’s made of foam, is somehow more functional as a phone and allows you to crush it with all your might, before instantly springing back to shape! Hoorah!
Alan Partridge Themed Gifts
A-ha! Line up the ladyboys, get Lynn on the phone, it’s time for some fun and frolicking straight from the late-90’s world of Steve Coogan’s classic Partridge. Yes, straight from his peculiar trials and tribulations, you too can eat dinner off your very own Big Plate. With Alan’s smiling, posing face located directly under your food, you’ll get a chuckle every time you finish your over-encumbered helping from the buffet!
Better yet, how about a North Norfolk Digital radio mug, to celebrate Alan’s successful days as a controversially incompetent 5am Disc Jockey! Everybody loves memorabilia, and this is perfect for any Alan advocate!
Social Shower Curtain
If taking a shower seems too much like spending too long a time away from your Facebook profile, now you can combine the two! This shower curtain is designed to look just like your favourite social network, complete with ‘in a relationship’ status, all the extra trimmings you’d expect from a typical profile, and best of all, your profile picture is an empty space for you to fill! Don’t forget, no one will judge, especially if you shower alone, which we’re presuming you do!
Grow Your Own
Sometimes we all wish obtaining the things we desire most could be made possible simply by putting smaller versions of them in water. Well wish no more my atypical friends! Gone are the days of aggressively drowning foam effigies of sought after possessions in the sink; this range of hilarious Grow Your Own items ensures you’ll get almost 40% more results! And the aggression is optional! From a Sports Car, to a head of hair, you can even grow your own Gay Best Friend. And if purported religious deities are your thing, why not Grow Your Own Jesus? In a few seconds Christ himself will enlarge before your very eyes and be on hand for you to administer a quiet word to.
If it’s hilarity you’re after this Christmas, this small selection of guffaw-inducing ditties is merely the tip of the ice berg. Find them all at Find Me a Gift, and get the festive funnies flowing!